I opened my journal this morning to write an entry. But before I picked up my pen, I decided to flip through a couple of pages before the one I was currently on. This is what I saw from the past three days…
I have complained to myself about how I have several infections.
I have complained to myself about how I have parasites in my stomach.
I have complained to myself about how I have two hundred bug bites on my legs alone.
I have complained to myself about how I can take a shower in the morning and by the time I get off the bus, I smell like body odor because of the seven other smelly people pressed against me in my seat.
I have complained to myself about how some of my adventures have caused countless scrapes, bruises and cuts all over my body.
I have complained to myself about how the mother next to me on the bus decided to change her baby’s explosive diaper two inches from my nose and mouth.
Then, I took a step back. Why exactly am I complaining so much? People have told me for years in fact, that I never complain about anything. So why would now be any different?
Then, it hit me.
I have never had anything worth complaining about. Sure, my morning coffee has spilled on my shirt or I’ve picked the cart at Target with broken wheels. But, really? Even the most pessimistic people could look at those types of experiences and merely shrug their shoulders and say, “Uhhhh, oh well…”.
But this, this is the real deal.
I’m laying on my bed with a severely inflamed stomach from the parasites and have visible bruises from it. And I’m ashamedly reading over my past couple of entries.
This morning while taking a shower, The Lord really impressed 1 Thessalonians 5:18 on my heart so strongly. “Be thankful in all circumstances, for this is God’s will for you who belong to Christ Jesus.”
‘Seriously, Lord?’ I thought as I rinsed the shampoo out of my hair, ‘Like I can be thankful when my bus is running a couple minutes late or whenever I have to wait for fresh tortillas for a while at the store…but this??!! I stinking feel miserable and I have disgusting things living inside my body!’
Now, I haven’t studied Thessalonians in a very long time, however, The Lord reminded me that during this time, when Paul wrote this, he was in prison!! He wasn’t livin’ the easy life at this point, either.
Just that fact alone extremely humbled me. Because, while I’m laying in my bed, having a pity party for myself, Paul is in prison, rejoicing over the sweet name of The Lord. Quite honestly, this is turning into the point of my life where I am growing absolutely so, so much every single day, and I love that…even though it is hard at times. Just to see where He is leading me each and every day is an adventure in itself.
My day since this morning has been filled with so much of a different outlook. No, I haven’t reached the point yet where I can freely say, “Thank you Jesus for this sickness!”, but it definitely has turned my thinking around quite dramatically.
Even though it’s difficult, I am looking to the Lord saying, “Teach me how to thank you in each and every single situation.” Thankful for the grace that the Lord continually gives me.